Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
