I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
