If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
