Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Let's paint friendship bongs
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
