Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
