Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
