Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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