I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
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after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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