i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
