Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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