Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
