im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
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