me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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