I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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