i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
