her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Randomize
