I look better un-naked...
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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