i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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