I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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