OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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