Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
