Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
