oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
