my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize