Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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