we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
