The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
This girl is more easily done than said...
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
