non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
