I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
