your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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