it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
