I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
