That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
