Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
