how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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