I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
