I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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