Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want nice things and good sex
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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