If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
