I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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