my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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