flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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