Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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