Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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