I think im going to throw up on grandma
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
