I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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