What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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