Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Randomize
