She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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