The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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