my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
