Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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