i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
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