Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
