i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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