I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
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