No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
