i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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