I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
