this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
